100 days!!!!

yep! 100 days without a glass of wine or drop of any type of alcohol. The difference in just a few months is so incredible I can’t quite figure out why I ever decided to drink again after my first extended break from it. I guess that was part of my journey and something I needed to do to feel 100% sure of my decision now so i am trying not to focus on the fact that I SHOULD have been celebrating 2 years this coming week.

In the past 100 days I have gone from at least 3 massive anxiety attacks per month (after every time I drank basically) to not one. Yes I still have days where I’m a bit anxious but not those full blown heart pounding out of my chest, can’t catch my breath, not sure how I’m going to make it through this feeling which lasts for daysssssss attacks. My sleep has improved drastically, I’m off my sleeping pills as well, waking up feeling refreshed and not groggy AND no longer waking at 3am! Woot woot! I’m still going to crossfit and spin class and (mostly) staying on track with my running schedule, this is the best I’ve done at keeping a “routine” when it comes to fitness in a while and it feels wonderful:). I’m more patient, I don’t find myself to be as snappy with my kids and I’m pretty sure they’ve noticed a difference in me as well which makes me both happy and a little sad all at the same time. I’m doing better with everyday stuff, my house is neater, I don’t have a huge mountain of laundry needing to be dealt with all of the time and I’m doing better at keeping track of and staying on top of financial stuff.

It’s pretty incredible really.

Now at the same time that I decided the wine needed to get lost, my Dr also wanted to try me on a new med for my ADHD and since I didn’t have great luck with the first 2 we tried I was reluctant to agree but in the end I did. I suspect this may also have something to do with the mentioned changes above. Likely a combination of not trying to self medicate AND of being properly medicated…

This weekend hubby and I are heading down to the cottage where I plan to do nothing but catch up on some reading, take the kayak out on the river, walk on the sand, watch the replay of The Tragically Hip’s fairwell concert on CBC, and do things that make my heart happy.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and to any fellow Canadians on here, happy Canada Day! To anyone in their first few days or weeks, keep going, it’s beyond worth it and it’s only getting better ❤