Day 70

Well I’ve had a couple of rough(ish) evenings over the past 10 days. Not sure why really, just stress I guess and that urge to just shut my brain off temporarily. I didn’t give in thankfully and the thoughts didn’t last long but they were there. It’s funny how you get to that certain point where that little voice whispers that you would be fine just to have one even though you know that’s a bold faced lie! I recently had a conversation with someone who has also given up alcohol and he was doing that bargaining thing… telling me he might try modetating because it was never really THAT bad, after all, he still has his job, wife, home, never had a DUI, etc…. It’s amazing how once we are away from it for a bit and start to feel better our own thoughts will suddenly turn against us. It’s like something starts turning your own mind against you. I gently (but firmly) reminded him to look at his reasons why he was doing this and just not to drink that night and revisit the thoughts in the morning. Thankfully he did and by morning was proud of not giving in, I was proud of him as Well! It takes so much work sometimes, and then some days it’s so easy that I don’t even think about it. I’m grateful that so far I’ve had more of the not thinking about it days than the so much work days! Crossfit and spin are still going well as is the running. I just made a pact with a friend to cut the junk out for june and be more consisntent with my macros, hoping to maybe see the 150’s by the time the month is over, we shall see!

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